Without her

Having Ellington at her grandparent's house for the last couple of days has been really weird. Not at all the joyous freedom of having one child like I expected it to be. I had this vision that Finley and I would be galavanting all around town, me revelling in how easy it is to be out without dear girl and all of her toddler time-consuming ways.

Missing Ellie's Triathlon training this week….

...As well as opera practice.

What are those time-consuming ways, you should ask? Biggest time waster: Ellie taking her socks and boots off as soon as the van door closes, only for me having to shove her sweaty little feet back in said socks and boots at the next errand. And the cycle continues about five times while we are out. Until I have a brilliant idea to make her stop- I threaten that if she takes her boots off again, she'll have to walk from the van to the house in bare feet. "Ok, deal, mommy!", she squeals as she rips them off one last time, excited about the prospect of being able to run barefoot on the snowy sidewalk…

Breakfast-time hilarity with Sister

No, it hasn't even been easier to leave the house with one. I think it's because it's just him and I, and he still naps up to 3 times a day, I tell myself his nap is important and we'll leave after it. I don't have a girl who's itching to get out and see a friend, go to The Fish Store, or get a "cake-cup" from down the road.  Finn get's up and feeding him takes a little longer, because I now have the time to sit and smile at him (without the usual rushing around, cooking Ellie her third egg for breakfast) and it's at this point I am wondering why it's so quiet in the house. I mean, I'm trying to make conversation with Finn, but the poor guy has three tricks he's mastered so it goes like this; " Finn, where's the liiighhht?" And he'll raise his folded hands and smile big at the pendant lamp above our island. "Diii", he says, and we're on to the next heavy topic. "Head. can you touch you're head?" And he does so, but silently…and then we have a rousing song of  If You're Happy And You Know It, with my little genius claps loudly as I sing. I have totally forgotten how utterly boring it is with just a baby! I know I was back with Ellie too, because the day seemed to go on forever ... It wasn't the fussiness of a baby that made me want Daddy home so bad, it was the loneliness of not talking to anyone for hours! (especially if mom, Heidi, Faye, Melissa, Shauna, Jeremy, Sam, Becky,  Joris, Tanya, Jen, Sarah, Alissia, Stephanie or Talia wouldn't pick up the phone that day- and believe me- some days I tried ALL of their numbers!)

Finn's mini mommy

I think I've noticed over the course of three days that guilt is slowly seeping away. The guilt that comes from knowing my second born will never have my time and attention the way my firstborn did. Guilt of his milestones not yet reached at the 10 month mark… guilt that my daughter's daily demands overshadow Finn's.  Instead, having my toddler away has made me realize how much Ellington enriches our lives, and how much better off Finley is for having her around.(Now I  have guilt for when   Ellie was a baby- I should have adopted a 3 year old so she could have had the same entertainment and love as Finn experiences!)

No one is here to make both Finn and I laugh at bare-bum antics. She's not here making sure Finn is kept safe from the perils of living in a yet-to-be-baby-proofed home (swiped some delicious newspaper and lint in his mouth during playtime). There's lots of cuddles for Finley this week, but none for mommy in Ellie's absence. I've even got a new perspective on the most tiring things we deal with our toddlers: reasoning, arguing and negotiating! The debates and arguments over what kinds of foods we'll eat, where we'll go (new thing: she just wants to stay home) and if we'll write out our alphabets on paper or the forbidden walls, are God's way of keeping our brains fresh and resistant to manipulative pressures in our lives…Toddlers do wonders for all of us.

                                                                              
I can't wait to have you enriching our home again, Ellington! See you in an hour. XO

Best Video For Raw Milk Debate

Here is a great video from the Harvard Raw Milk Debate a couple of weeks ago.
Makes you think about who the food inspection agencies are really protecting….the public or the industrial dairy farmers...

If you don't have time for the full clip,  from about 13 min- 18 mins they talk about benefits of raw milk.

we're not sick, we're transforming into butterflies.

 We've been sick with this terrible strain of the flu where your whole body aches, you're feverish, and then you get the head cold that makes you feel like you're under water. The back ache I got from this was unreal. But what's worse than being ill as an adult, is seeing your children sick and in pain.


I've been doing a lot of my own research in books and online (read here and this  great post  )and have recently had many conversations with friends about the terrifying fevers we see in our children. So when this cold came along,  it was time to put into practice what I've been learning. We're trying hard this year to wean ourselves off of Tylenol and Advil and trying the old fashioned remedies to work their magic and allow our bodies to heal on their own. But first we have to change our perspective...Looking at illness in a different light, as Dr. Thomas Cowan writes about, is the best thing we can do for our kids:

Another way to put this is that when a child encounters an impediment, say a foreign protein or an organ that is not being formed quite right, he goes into “remodeling mode.” The remodeling is done by tearing down the old, misshapen matter, taking it out to the dumpster, and then rebuilding a more suitable house to inhabit. This is exactly what is done through illness. Take measles: the temperature goes up to 104, the eyes water, the nose runs, the lungs cough up mucus, the kidneys excrete extra broken down proteins, the bowels are loose and the child aches all over. These symptoms herald the construction of a newer, healthier body, one that is more individualized to the dynamics of the child. This is a profoundly healing and spiritual process, and like everything of such gravity, it has its risks and dangers. The risk of a snake shedding its skin, of a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly, of striving to do something that has never been done before, is that you can fail and fall into the abyss. Not trying, however, is even worse. Our job as parents and doctors is to help the child cross the bridge of illness with our loving, caring, intelligent guidance as we experience the natural processes that are at work as our children struggle with their illnesses."

Understanding the Process
When you start to understand what the body's doing and not fight the symptoms, say for example, extra mucous- you realize that it's actually a good thing to see and then you get super excited…I mean, Finn's got mucous running down his face today, and because my perspective has changed, I'm praising it:"Oh yay, the gross germs are leaving his body via the constant stream of mucous! Keep that gorgeous slime coming." And Fever? She's a playmate welcome here anytime. "Oh good to see, Ellie, you're cheeks are red and you're hot to touch! You're little internal heater is burning off those foreign invaders!"Ok, not really. It's still not easy. I was jumpy the entire four days that Ellie had a fever, and had to continually go back to reading about fever and when to start worrying, and when to leave her be. But we're working on our roles, from being former Advil administrator's to gentle homeopathic mediators. We wanna be parents that  help our children "cross the bridge of illness", as Dr. Cowen so eloquently puts. 


So The Other Day
On the way home from seeing our family doctor ( who prescribed antibiotics for both, not even bothering to look into Finn's ears or throat!) I was pretty disheartened. I know there are amazing GP's who don't hand out prescriptions like candy, who care to figure out their patients and spend more than two minutes with them…the problem is we don't have that here ( and the shortage of family physicians are for another post; I'm not picky, very grateful we have one at all). I don't have an issue with antibiotics- they are truly a miracle but they work less and less when we use them more frequently. 


I had a sudden brain wave to just quickly check and see if this new naturopathic doctor was available that day to take a look at Ellie.  We got in, and Dr. Mountain  looked at her ear and said there was definitely redness and inflammation, but not to the point where she needed antibiotics yet. He said we could try to clear it with a few easy remedies. If there was no change, antibiotics would be necessary. Wonderful news that we had bought some time... but what was even better was how handsome he was  the length of time he spent with us, encouraging us in our efforts and stressing the importance of fevers (up to a certain point. There are fevers that are damaging and we need to be careful they don't get dangerously high, but what's more important is to watch their demeanour for  change). He was also asking us questions to try sleuth out why Ellie has been  getting ear infections in the first place, not just focusing on the event of the inflammation.


What We Did That Helped
***Bought this little wonder oil for the ear infections: warm bottle in hot water, give 5 drops per ear, 3x daily  and try to get the child to lay on a pillow to let it sink in deep.

St. Francis Ear Oil. $12 online, or if you want to spend $7 extra, hit up Nutters. 


(Also bought by the same brand, Deep Immunity tincture to boost their little bodies)

***Homemade cough syrup. Getting Ellie's cough under control was easy with this…and no complaints of taste. But then again she's my little trouper who'll take fermented cod liver 

oil without blinking. 

The recipe is really hard though…Are you ready with a pen? Ok, chop an onion up, put it in a mason jar, cover onions with honey, screw on top and put jar in fridge overnight. Drain syrup out in the morning, and voila! The liquid is ready to soothe.


***Next, Wet Sock Treatment. Equipment: two pairs of cotton tube socks, two pairs of wool socks, warm and cold water.  Here is how you do it! We only did it two nights and seriously, Ellie is totally over her cold.  My friend Jen can also vouch for this method. 
-If you know her, you'd be quite aware she don't mess around with no sickness. Her own husband has been sent to the leprosy camps, I mean quarantine, when he's caught the bug.


***Lots of tea with Elderberry and Echinacea, plus our own ginger honey and lemon mixture.




So now that our medicine cabinet- rather, sock drawer and pantry, is all stocked up thanks to this flu, we are set for the next one…I hope I won't be as worried about getting rid of all of their symptoms and fevers when I now know what the body's up to when it goes into repair mode. 




Is there anything that your family does when they are hit with the bug? Would love if you could start/ add to the discussion!

pass the test

We've been up all night. I am so exhausted I can hardly see straight. Today is going to be a test in patience with the kids and putting into practice what nourishing ourselves means. Today that means…

1. No T.V or computer time ( if I have any downtime it will be for napping!)
2. Herbal tea to soothe- the temptation is there to drink a cup of coffee for caffeine for energy, but I know it will burn me out in the end
3. Eating really well today, especially as we're sick and tired. I crave cookies and sugary carbs in times like these… No junk for our already run down system
4. Getting out of a walk- fresh air always does wonders for us and gives some perspective when you're surrounded by dirty dishes, laundry and toys scattered. Heck, it may even motivate me to clean it up when we return.
5. Don't take things personally today- especially my daughter's choice of actions…what I mean is, as soon as I become personally attached to her behaviour, I start to use it as a gauge of my adequacy as a mom. If she listens well to an instruction, I feel like a great mom. If she decides not to behave, I have somehow failed…thus my reaction to that is super emotional and all patience is lost…if I can somehow remember that on most days; great, but today it's extremely important! (ok, so I italicized for double remembering power! Ha)
6. Getting in the Word to fill up my tank. Try as I might to even do one thing on this list, I can't without total reliance on Christ.

What's the hidden benefit in having more patience with my children (besides that they just deserve it)? They will model my behaviour.  Another benefit- not waking up tomorrow regretting how I reacted today.

How do you handle a day where you know you're behind in your sleep and energy? Any wisdom to share?

Let nothing disturb thee;

Let nothing dismay thee:
All thing pass;
God never changes.
Patience attains
All that it strives for.
He who has God
Finds he lacks nothing:
   God alone suffices.
"Poem IX", in Complete Works St. Teresa of Avila (1963) edited by E. Allison Peers, Vol. 3, p. 288

Tomorrow's post: getting through colds and fevers naturally...

did it.

My first entry- oh my goodness! Two little Liz's sit upon my shoulder as I write...  insecure Liz talks very loudly in my ear..."How dare you even have the nerve to do this? You can talk yourself out of anything (that's why it's important for me to be impulsive…formerly thought as a negative thing. I will apply it to housework sometime!) how did you end up on here!?? You aren't a good writer!! So many blogs come to mind that are so amazing, why do you think yours will have anything new to talk about?"

Even writing this, I am starting to believe that little insecure voice...so the other little encouraging Liz had better speak up now, or this blog will be over before it started. Loud insecure Liz almost drowns her out, but I can hear encourager Liz whisper..."Why don't you just call this "The Blog That Was Never Written", because of your fear for putting yourself out there, worried about looking like a fool. Yes, you need practice writing- this will give you the opportunity to get better at it and also have it as a creative outlet. What about the blogs you love to follow? What if they decided not to write because it's 'been done before'? How much have you learned from heartfelt writing in your quest to nourish your body, mind and soul? Where would that leave you today if they had the same mindset?" I guess a little less inspired. 

Ok, good point, encouraging Liz, you can stay up there on my shoulder... So....Why am I doing this? Ok, well for starters, I have no lofty ideas that other people will read this other than family....for the husband, sister and brother in law, and best friend who have been bugging me to do this- I think I owe it to you guys for believing (even though I don't!) that I have a voice that should be added to the bazillion other blogs. If there can be anything useful gleaned from our experiences in finding nourishment, then it's enough reason for me to find time to write about it. If at the very least, this is a place for family members to check out once in a while to see if I've kept up my end of the bargain. Did it!